Real Madrid Advance to Semifinals of Champions League

Los Blancos sealed their passage into the UCL semifinals with an amazing 5-2 victory over Cypriot opponents, APOEL Nicosia at the Bernabéu.  Leading this goal fiesta was Portuguese all-star, Cristiano Ronaldo, who scored twice in the 90-minute match.  Also on the RM scoring sheet were Kaká, José Callejón, and Ángel di María.  Team manager José Mourinho implemented a strong lineup against APOEL, which included the rarely seen Nuri Sahin and Raphael Varane as starters, in spite of the 3-0 score in the 1^st leg.

As this Madridista predicted, Real Madrid dominated the game at the get go, Gonzalo "Pipita" Higuaín creating a chance not even two minutes into the match.  The Argentine headed the ball from the center of box, but narrowly missed to the left.  ¡Qué lastima!  Two minutes later, Cristiano's attempt of scoring for the home side was saved in the bottom left corner.  From that moment on until the 26', where Madrid's efforts finally resulted in goal, the men in White had made seven more attempts that were either blocked or saved.

Cristiano opened up the scoring by finishing a beautiful cross from Marcelo with his right knee.  Yes, you read that correctly, knee.  Ten minutes later, Brasilian international Kaká saw the back of the net with a spectacular shot from outside the box, sending the ball sailing through the top right corner.  There was nothing that the APOEL GK, Pardo, could do to save it.  All he could do, along with the rest of his teammates and fans, was watch as Real Madrid upped the scoring 2-nil, the aggregate now reading 5-0.  It must have been a painful pill to swallow, but it certainly encouraged the visitors to do better come second half.

APOEL managed to slip one past Iker Casillas at the 65', giving the Cypriots hope of at least equalizing against the great Real Madrid.  However, Cristiano snuffed out that flame with an impressive freekick at the 75', his eighth of the season, sending the ball into the top right corner.  It was such a relief that CR7 sent the ball into the net as opposed to sending it either into outerspace or into a flock of birds... as he has done quite a bit this season.  NASA, birds, and Madridistas everywhere were grateful.

Madrid saw its fourth of the evening five minutes later at the 80'.  José Callejón, who had come on as a substitute for Marcelo, scored with right-footed shot to the bottom left corner, Ángel di María, who had replaced Pipita, at the assist.  While equalizing seemed a far, far dream for APOEL now, they managed to net a second at the 82' minute mark.  Esteban Solari converted a penalty given away by RM's Hamit Altintop (Hamit Altinflop if you were one of the many frustrated Madridistas on Twitter) for a horrible tackle in the penalty area.  Di María eventually ended the match with an incredible shot at the 84', earning Madrid's fifth of the evening, the aggregate reading 8-2.

Other notable events during this match?  At the 61' mark, the world witnessed APOEL defender, Paulo Jorge, lose three teeth after a collision.  Two flew out of his mouth during the play.  The third, you ask?  Mr. Tough Guy – or is Dr. Tough Guy more apropos – performed a dental procedure on himself... removing the third tooth from his own mouth.  See the video below, but note that it's extremely cringe-worthy.

Real Madrid will face old UCL foe's Bayern Munich at Allianz Arena, Tuesday, April 17^th, for the first leg of the semifinals.  The men will face Valencia in La Liga , Sunday, April 8^th at the Santiago Bernabéu.  Until then, ¡Hala Madrid!

written by Gail Hidalgo